Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dude. I can hear the air.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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