oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
