well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He? As in you personified your dick?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
