I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
