Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Your cock deserves a montage
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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