I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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