After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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