I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
