Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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