Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
