Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
