WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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