well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
