I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
