i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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