My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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