Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
