Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
