Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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