I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You left your underwear on the fireplace
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
