Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
