he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
