He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize