he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
