This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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