how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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