The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
