It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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