he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
be right there i have to get my cape
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
