u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
