Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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