i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
