I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
