When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
