It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
