I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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