we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
