Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
