I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
