She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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