It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
