My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
