i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is wine microwaveable?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
