do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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