Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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