i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
