I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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