So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
