Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
ttyl tear gas
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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