the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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