so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
