I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
