At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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