ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
