I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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