think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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