you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
