How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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