How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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