Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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