Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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