FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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